13 Things to Tell a Friend Who is Hurting

1. Come in, I’ll put the kettle on.
2. No, sod it, I’ll find a corkscrew.
3. I love you and it is OK to cry. 
4. If you cannot sleep in your dark 
   Turn the radio down low 
   And let other people’s stories wash 
   you away from you own, 
   just for a night. 
   I self medicate in fiction 
   Make elastoplasts of poetry, so 
5. Here is one from 600 years ago by 
   a Persian named Hafez, who says:
   “If only I could show you,
   when you are lonely or in darkness,
   the astonishing light of your own being.”
   Pin it on your wall
   It will not heal you
   But it might hold the edges together
   When you are frightened you will crack
6. Know that people like arrowheads are barbed 
   They do more damage coming out of your life
   than they did going in 
   Because our flesh tries so hard to cling to them 
   No matter the damage done, but 
7. Know also that no time spent having faith
   in another person is ever wasted 
   Because faith requires hope 
   And remembering the taste of hope 
   Is what will get you out of bed tomorrow 
   When you do not believe in dawn. 
8. When Prometheus lay 
   Missing parts of himself in the dark 
   Punished for committing arson with ideas,
   Learning through re-growing pains
   That what he thought the worst
   was only the beginning
   The mortals in the valley below
   who had seen his light, astonished,
   Lit tiny-fire candles to remind him, so

9. Do not talk about ending up here 
   Or where you should be by now
   it is not a race but a wheel
   And it like the world is turning
   Once I was at your feet
   Broken by centrifugal forces
   Crying so hard I pulled a muscle
   In my face.
   That shit hurts.
   Remind me, when I am there again

10. Take it from me, 
    If you pin your mistakes to the mirror 
    So they are the first thing you see in the morning, 
    You will lose your face in the cracks. 
    Lay them all out,  
    Take a good look at them and then 
    Fold them away
    And forgive yourself, 
    The way you forgive your reflection 
    It’s dark-shadowed eyes. 
11. Know that when they build bridges, 
    They lay stone by stone 
    Side by side around a central support 
    Wedge a keystone in place at the top 
    And remove the support 
    So the force of the bricks themselves keeps the bridge standing 
    So know that, 
    Whatever you have built you life around 
    You, standing tall with your chest puffed out 
    Have the strength to cross chasms alone 
12. I am sorry if I cannot always be 
    The friend you need 
    If my tired bones sodden
    in other people’s pain 
    Are too sorrow-logged to take on more 
    Forgive me, 
    I will wring out these soggy bones 
    And dry your eyes
    And listen because

13. The truth is that the words 
    to take this pain from you 
    Do not exist 
    All I can offer, you have, 
    but these words are bridges 
    And elastoplasts. 
    cold comfort wine in too shallow glasses 
    And distraction noise 
    But know this: 
    I see nothing but your astonishing light 
    And when you are spread and eagled on a rock, 
    You can be damn sure
    
    I will light a candle for you. 

 

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